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Tonight we turned in five deliverables which were actually comprised of nine different and smaller components for our pro-bono communications client. In addition, we wrote five memos describing the deliverables for our professor.

I thought I would feel relieved we were finished. Instead, I feel a little like I was rocked too hard in a boat. Maybe it was because we had 48 hours to complete all of that work, and so it obviously was not my best product ever. Maybe it was because I didn't even have time to proofread them.

Or maybe it was because my professor used me (anonymously) as an example of how he was disappointed in our class. I, heaven-forbid, did not know what an editorial plan looked like for a newsletter, nor could I find any examples. So, I had emailed him and asked for an idea of what I needed to include. He thought I should have just taken the initiative to do whatever I thought might be best, instead of asking for help.

I am rarely the "needy" kid who needs help. I pay attention in class. But I had never even heard of an editorial plan before, better yet done one. It just makes me feel behind. Less professional.

What if my boss is like this? Expects perfection but is unwilling to give me instruction? What if my co-workers don't know either? It makes me really nervous to go out into the real world feeling like such a dunce.

People here at school say we'll be so prepared. If nothing else, we'll be able to wing it until we figure it out. But other people, they keep telling me stories about "those idiots with degrees." "Those book smart people." Well, I am one of those people, but that doesn't make me any worse at my job. Or will it?

I don't really have time to think about that now, because I have to go and put together a binder that will break down the chapters of the BOOK I (the incapable one) am writing.

Well, at least the deliverables are done. I have to make a binder and prepare a 15 minute presentation on this stuff, but then I never have to look at it again if I don't want to.

Moving on.

Love always, ~Heather