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Adopting in Ashburn

What began in France moved to Washington, DC and then the suburbs. Let the adventures in Ashburn continue.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

6:30pm and it is +4

Here are the things that happened today:

1. Got up and ready, finished speech and emailed it to my professor. (+)

2. Went to church and sang in the choir. Best way to start the week. (++)

3. Had two friends from choir over for brunch. One had never had french toast, the other had never had french toast they liked. Everyone enjoyed. (+)

4. Worked on management proposal project. Lots of Powerpoint and emailing. (+, better to get it done now!)

5. Called around to confirm pending dinner invites. All no. *See below. (---)

6. Cried with Dana about the terrible past hour. (Neutral, crying makes you feel better.)

7. Dropped off LB's work stuff and got two new fish, a snail, and a crab for our tank. (+)

8. Took out stuff to make dinner. (+)

The day isn't over yet, so I'm not going to call it a bad one. Anything could really happen to make it better. And whenever I'm upset about what a crummy day I've had, I make a list of all the things I've done to see if there really was anything bad going on. (Hence the +/- signs.)

So I have 7 pluses and 3 minuses. That technically makes today a 4. That doesn't even include how yummy dinner is going to be, how much I enjoy relaxing during Sunday night television, how great it is to be finished with my projects in enough time to catch up on other things ... I mean there isn't alot else that could spoil today.

So why do I feel like crap? Because during line item #5 I found out that one of my friends is super stressed and now not feeling well (which makes me feel bad not just for her, but because we were supposed to hang out last night and I cancelled).

That by itself however would not do this. No, instead I was faced (or phoned anyway) with what was supposed to be a benign dinner request and became ... what?

What was that exactly? I know you are sitting there pretty confused at this point, so I'll give you a brief summary. (SOAMG = Son of a Motherless Goat)

Me: "How about coming over for supper?"
SOAMG: "No, I can't."
Me: "Okay."
SOAMG: "Actually, that's why it took me so long to get back to you. I can't see you again until September."
Me: "September?"
SOAMG: "I need some time to think about things."
Me: "So you want me to not be your friend again until September?"
SOAMG: "Yes." Proceeds to tell me how unhealthy our current friendship is.
Me: "So I am just supposed to wait until you decide you want to be my friend again, at which point, sometime in the future, you will contact me?"
SOAMG: "Yes."
Me: "That seems pretty childish."
SOAMG: "As a compromise, I'll email you in a month to let you know how I'm progressing [thinking about things]."
Me: "You realize how silly that sounds, right?"
SOAMG: "Yes, I guess it does. Goodbye."

If anybody can tell what THAT is, I'd be happy to know. The sheer ridiculousness of some people is beyond my comprehension. (To be fair, that is a summary - but even said SOAMG would agree it is about dead-on with the conversation.)

It is the second time in a year someone has told me they weren't planning on speaking to me (basically ever) again. Who does that? Just says, "Let's not see or talk to each other. Our friendship will be better for it." If I knew how to type the "bullsh*t cough, I would.

This would be easier to blow off if said SOAMG wasn't actually a nice person. (Yes, P, my wimpy heart again.) I have a number of theories I won't delve into here about the reason for their ridiculousness, but one thing is certain ...

For the first time in one of these terrible situations (because it is always terrible to lose (or potentially lose depending on how things go) a friend), I can honestly say that it isn't my fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't mean or harsh - in fact, I was probably too nice.

I am, as always, the type of person who would probably seriously consider being their friend again if they asked. (Do you think masochism could be genetic?) I guess we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I have dinner to cook, TV to enjoy, and four new underwater creatures to watch. It's going to be a fun night!

Love always, ~Heather

P.S. - I do not think it is a coincidence that today's quote is: "It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion." ~Anatole France

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