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Exhaustion

This is the part of my life I call exhaustion.

On Sunday night, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to completely rewrite one of my three comprehensive exam essays. Unfortunately, Sunday night was technically Monday morning at 2am. Brilliant.

The good news is, that I know the second essay (which didn't include a single sentence from the first) was 150 times better. It is the only one of the three essays I feel like I could "pass with distinction" on. I think I needed to prove to myself that I could put in effort on the exam, and not just settle for knowing I was going to pass. (I hope confidently, since the results won't be in for a month or more.)

So I went to bet about 4:40am Monday. I was up before 9am to read over and edit the essays one last (millionth) time. I raced to school and turned the exam in about 2 minutes before the deadline. Phew.

I got home and was too awake to sleep. So I watched Brothers and Sisters online and then crashed. Thirty minutes later my mom called and I consequently got about 50 minutes of sleep before my alarm went off. Then I started reading for my Speechwriting class, since I had a quiz covering three chapters. I then split the reading up by going to rehearsal for the elementary school show I am stage managing. (More about that another time.)

I got home, made some really crap dinner and read and studied for the quiz. When I got to class the quiz was cancelled. I had to tell a joke in class and the professor didn't think it was funny and three people knew where I took it from. Oh, and I had wasted all the time studying for the quiz, because he didn't give it. Because I didn't need that time for anything else.

I got an assignment back without a grade because, "The subject matter was too trivial to warrant a grade." This was the escalator speech I posted. The good news is, he said it was structurally and linguistically perfect and true to the assignment. Why he couldn't have mentioned the subject matter was inappropriate when I turned in the draft last week, I'm not certain.

That was followed by him telling me my speech for this week was crap (which it sort of was). The comment he made though was what really threw me for a loop: "Your solution doesn't really seem to be right." I was writing a speech about gun crimes and violence in America. Do YOU have a solution for that? Frustration ...

I got home and was so emotionally obliterated from exhaustion that I was crying. I started consoling/chatting with a friend, which made me feel better. It's funny how not being able to worry about me because I'm concerned about others makes me feel better. Anyway, an hour later, at midnight, I got started on my homework.

I worked all night again, finishing the two assignments due this morning. One was a five-page Request for Proposal and the other was a presentation on an acadeic management article. I made this really cool class participation presentation with color-coded index cards for the class and everything. My lights went out at two minutes to 5.

I was up at 8:15, saw the bathroom was occupied, went back to sleep for 15 minutes, got in the shower, got out and got ready. I parked in the lot at school because the snow and ice wasn't looking promising for the drive home. I got to class early enough to work on a third assignment I still hadn't completed.

Long story short, class was as interesting as it can be on around three hours of sleep and my professor, though I reminded him at the break, forgot to leave time for my presentation. I can go next week. I was so thrilled (sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm) that I almost cried. Luckily I managed to wait until I got in my ice covered car.

Home again ... and then the story gets MUCH better. The night class I had to prepare a powerpoint for was cancelled due to weather so I didn't have to work on it instead of eating lunch. I got to watch Studio 60 on TiVo (during lunch) - but it was exceptionally depressing. I went to rehearsal for the musical and got to do intense work on the entre-acte pantomime scene. Rehearsal really perked me up (as only musicals and volleyball can).

I came home, hung out with Dana and Lorien, had dinner and let my mind dissolve into nothingness. As you can imagine, I fell asleep in my chair. Now, I am getting ready to hop into bed and sleep in REALLY late. Tomorrow I have to catch up on mountains of work, schoolwork, and independent reading. And we have rehearsal (yay!). I'm not sure if I want class to be cancelled or not ... probably not, I'm beginning to favor my Wednesday night class over all my others.

I'm so glad to sleep and I hope the bad news is over for a bit. My parents are coming up Thursday-Saturday, which should be fun. More motivation to finish all my work tomorrow.

Hope everyone is having a good week and Happy Valentine's Day (to those who don't spurn the thought of: a. commercialized religious festivals or b. holidays designed to make people in relationships feel superior to the rest of the world (that was snarky - I'll express my valentine thoughts tomorrow)). Love always, ~Heather

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