Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Listening

A couple weeks ago on Facebook my status was that I was trying to figure out how to discern between my internal monologue and the voice of God.

God has never really spoken to me in one of those booming voices or appeared in the form of Morgan Freeman or Alanis Morrisette. But, I've always felt the comfort of his messages to me in my soul.

Now, I am either fighting the message or I'm not hearing it right. It's the perfect time of year to find a place to just go and sit with the blessed sacrament and yet I fear it won't help or that I'm shouting over it or that I'm generally just unhappy with the content of the message.

Writing this out, it certainly seems that way. How do you make yourself feel better about God's plan for you if you don't really like it? I don't expect to understand it, but I never thought I'd feel bad about part of it.

Sigh. Reflections, thoughts, prayers, ideas welcome.

Love always,

~Heather

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This has always been my confusion. I don't really understand the point of a G-d with a plan if it's not a good plan. I certainly hope it turns out better for you than you expect it, though!
much love,
mf

Anonymous said...

Only this:
"Love and do whatever you want"

Kiss from your French Familly

girl from the south said...

Heather,

If God is directing you to do something or make a change in your life, do it. Do it immediately. Don't pause and wait or question. Submit and obey Him.

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this, but my move from DC back to TN was driven spiritually more than anything else. For over a year, I felt God calling me back home. At first it started as a whisper and it gradually grew louder and louder until it nearly drowned everything else out. I was truly miserable because I felt God calling me to leave DC, and I desperatly didn't want to go. For more than a year, I was spiritually stagnant because I refused to follow what God was clearly telling me.

I'm speaking from a Calvinist perspective, but everything He calls you to do with glorify Him. It generally doesn't make sense. Look at Noah or Paul. God always calls unlikely people to do crazy things.

A year later, I still haven't learned my lesson. God's been telling me to do something regarding a friendship since January, but I've either refused or tried to rationalize it. It's never easy but part of growing in faith.

Hope this helps and you're doing well.

-Adrienne