Adopting in Ashburn

I am an odd number in an even world. Every person needs to be self-reliant. We have to support ourselves and believe in ourselves and be strong enough to defend ourselves in the "big bad world." But, I don't really think that anyone can do it alone. You need other people. Batman has Robin. Mom has Dad. Meredith has Cristina. Everywhere you look, there are pairs. Heck, even most college mascots have significant others (who look freakishly like themselves but usually wearing a dress). And somewhere in this mixed up equation full of numbers divisible by two, I'm odd. Don't get me wrong, I love odd numbers. Sometimes it even makes me sad that my birth year is in a decade that starts with an even number, because it means that my birthday can never just be odd (despite being prime numbers). But what does that mean for me? It means that when I have a terribly, very bad, no good, absolutely wretched day, I come home to myself. My outlet has become volleyball - t...

This is being posted belatedly as the internet connection at home was completely useless when I was typing this on Monday. Also, it's in parts because I am an unapologetic rambler. This morning I slept in as late as possible (I desperately need to fix my curtains again so I can PLEASE not have the sun glaring in so much), and then lounged in bed finishing Anne of the Island, the third book in the Anne of Green Gables series. I’ve been re-reading them the past week or so, and am falling in love with them all over again. (Wow, I am exceptionally girly .) I got up and journaled, talked to the landlord about the rat in our backyard, had breakfast and otherwise putzed about. Rachel and I worked on getting the Internet revived (because it still is horrifyingly slow and awful at our house), and the landlord surprised me by mowing our backyard, weeding the patio, and weed-wacking along the fence. I was thrilled to be relieved of those chores, and the yard certainly looks nice enough ...

This is being posted belatedly as the internet connection at home was completely useless when I was typing this on Monday. Also, it's in parts because I am an unapologetic rambler. Sunday morning was bright again, and somehow in setting my alarm I’d messed up the actual time on my bedroom clock, so I wound up getting up a full hour earlier than necessary. I spent the time reading the newspaper and getting myself ready for church. ASIDE: It has been an exceptionally long time since I bothered to read the newspaper. I got horribly discouraged during the campaign season last fall, and haven’t been able to pay attention to any non-work-related news since then. I know I’ll be kicking myself later – because it’s not good to live in a world where you’re ignorant of current events – but I honestly feel like living inside the Beltway makes me incredibly cynical that anything is actually being done in the world for the good of other human beings. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to work mysel...

This is being posted belatedly as the internet connection at home was completely useless when I was typing this on Monday. Also, it's in parts because I am an unapologetic rambler. It’s been an excellent holiday weekend. In my brain it really started with Lorien and my having a date with the Gamecocks. We had dinner and enjoyed the atmosphere as USC stood their sloppy ground for a 7-4 win over NC State. Luckily, the Jets were beating the Eagles on the next television over, so I got to see both of my teams win on the same night. Friday I left work a little after 1 p.m. and didn’t look back … After lunch I went out and did a bit of volleyball conditioning on the sand courts down by the river with a friend from the Wednesday night rec pick-up I’ve been going to. It was our first time conditioning together, so it was a workout, but I foresee much more challenging sessions as we get used to each other. I cleaned myself up a little bit, talked to one of my aunts for an hour and then ...

Stop asking my advice and not taking it. Telling me to just do what someone else says when we all know it isn't right. Expecting perfection of me and accepting mediocrity from others. Respond to phone messages and invitations in a timely fashion. Say thank you. Be nice to me. I'm nice to you. I'm really trying here, and being treated like I'm merely there to serve everyone else's needs all the time is belittling. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that only you can make yourself feel inferior. She may be right, but I think other people can plant the seed in your mind and water it (with Miracle Grow) every day. I'm trying to be a weed killer. I am. But if I have to pick up my roots Ent-style and find a more hospitable environment, I'm not the only one who's going to be "ripped up" by it. And if I get that far, I seriously won't be sorry. Love to all of you patient readers, ~Heather

Most people who really know me know that I don't particularly like having my neck/shoulders/back touched, better yet massaged. However, I'm thinking that today, I could definitely use a shoulder massage. The tension that is physically building up in the muscles supporting my weary, overworked head is reaching a serious threshold, that will, I believe, induce me to just give in to some serious hand-on-muscle action later. Well, if anyone offered anyway. But, as I'll be spending this evening running around from work to the gym to the bar (Gamecock football, baby!), that opportunity isn't really bound to come up. I wonder if the Gamecocks really blowing out the Wolfpack tonight, will give me enough relaxed energy to counteract all the frustration that seems to be tightening cell by cell in my neck right now. Ugh. I'm going to sleep. Wake me when the September-October of back-to-back events is over. Grumpily yours, ~Heather

... and as I sat there on the roof, looking at the stars, I felt alot of things. Most importantly though, I felt happy. Love always, ~Heather