Adopting in Ashburn

There is a line from The Holiday that always struck me as meaningful, "I should be the leading lady in my own life." (this may be paraphrased, it's a bit foggy right now) Right now I feel like someone in the role of Supporting Actress. I'm not playing the lead, I'm a lady in waiting (and not in the Episode I of Star Wars way). I'm like that actress who is the best friend in everything, but who I've never seen play a lead in anything - even I can't remember her name without looking her up! I'm an impatient sort of person; as I've previously mentioned. So I'm setting out to turn my life around before 12/29/2009 (my last day in the U.S. for 2009). In 2010, I'll be turning an ideal age (based on my own weird thing - the last "good" year was predestined to be 23), and when I get there, I want to remember myself taking action now, not just accepting my self as a secondary character. I hope Judy Greer does too. She's a gr...

Last night I had a series of what I call "real" dreams. These are the types of dreams you have where you wake up and honestly believe that what you dreamt happened, because it felt so real. Here were the weird things I dreamt: That I decided to say hello to someone I haven't talked to in months because we were in the same place at the same time, and then all of a sudden we were in this tiff, and then I left. That a kid I was babysitting had a pet lizardy thing that looked like a baby dinosaur that I found in one of a series of fish tanks. Oh, and I had to find a bucket to scoop out the little dead fish in all the tanks. That one of my co-workers had figured out how to access one of my personal accounts (think Facebook or MySpace) and was warning me that my boss now could too. I dreamt these things like they were real. Like baby dinosaur pets existed and that I was in the same place at the same time as someone I'd rather not see. I have no idea what all of that mean...

Love always, ~Heather Kudos: to the unknown creator of this image.

Today I had a chance to go through a bunch of old boxes of my stuff, culling out the things I cannot even remember why I bothered to save in the first place. I found journals, poems, stories, school papers, newspaper clippings, stickers, paintings, and a horrifying amount of tediously penned notes. From 15 gallons worth of plastic tubs and a shoebox, I now have about 3 gallons worth of papers and another 2 of empty binders and folders I'm hoping to donate to a school somewhere. Most of my life, I've thought it might be cool to go back one day and create a book of all of my old work. Incorporate my journals and short stories and random school assignments into something I could keep forever (and if I got famous, edit and sell). Realistically (after about 5 hours of this treasure hunting), I'm not sure it would be worth anything to anyone - perhaps not even to me. One thing about looking back is that it gives you a chance to see how far you've come; and how far you have le...

I'm supposed to be spending this week thinking. I have a lot on my mind. Here is my list of things so far: I used to be much better at asking about other peoples' days. I need to focus on being a better listener. Emotions are tricky things. There is a time to show them, a time to guard them, and a time to assess what all those feelings really mean and where they come from. Balance in life is important. Too much (or too little) of anything is a really bad idea. Being good at something and loving something are two different things. The ideal situation is a combination of the two. I'm incredibly lucky to have an amazing support system of family and friends. As I was taking the dogs for a walk just now I was trying to find the right words to fill in the rest of this list. What I came up with was actually a metaphor for the main thoughts I've been having the past couple of days. Our lives are like puzzles, with pieces scattered over the course of our lives. Our early...

Guess what folks? I finally finished a hand-made project I started last year. A fabulous, super fun, totally great, going-to-be Christmas gift. Sadly for most of you, the all too amazing woman who will be receiving this prize is a reader, so I can't show you now, or she'll see it too. BUT - I promise to show pictures of it after the holidays. I brought some stuff to start another project (now that I'm a bit of an expert), but since I am dog-sitting this week, I have to be careful as the fur of my friendly house-mates sticks to EVERYthing. Speaking of which, I am being nuzzled pretty seriously right now, so I better just play with these totally hyper pups. Love always, ~Heather

Waking up with a great friend after a totally girly slumber party, talking about boys and eating chocolate chip cookie dough. Singing some fun songs at church. Having lunch with a totally kindred spirit. Hanging out while Lorien packed for her trip to open a new theater in Lynchburg, VA. Talking to my Aunt Babs about the readings from today and all the other stuff they made me think of. First attempt at relinquishing control of a situation I really only pretend to have control over. [Success to be determined in self-appointed two-day time frame.] Gajillionth attempt at not-internalizing successfully accomplished with the help of #5. Talking to every member of my immediate family on the phone. Getting a text message at a crazily (in?)opportune time. Buying 8 tickets to an upcoming USC football game for my family and friends (!!!^3). And I still have 4 hours left. Love always, ~Heather P.S. Quote of the Day: "I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist." Paul Harvey...

He made a choice. I'm making a choice. They have to match. No one's winning. No one's losing. But we aren't tied. Someone will lead. Someone will follow. And one way or another We'll arrive at our new year.