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My Life as a Mini-Series

The following things have (really and truly) happened to me in the last week (in no particular order and a little vague to protect everyone involved):
  • The button in the middle of my chest fell off my shirt ten minutes before the first of three in-person interviews with potential new staff at work.
  • My car got towed. While I was parked in a perfectly legal spot. $115 later, my car was NOT returned in the same condition I left it in.
  • I did an amazing job on a project and was even quoted for my quality work in a popular online source and was then belittled for the same work by someone who could have me fired.
  • My cheesecake flavored Jello pudding strangely grew MORE cheesecake flavored in just 48 hours.
  • While next in line at Walgreens, the store alarm went off (for no reason) which prevented the staff from helping me for ten minutes - exactly enough time to make me late for an appointment across the street.
  • To prevent an unfortunate circumstance for a friend, I had to get help from my landlord (who works near my home) because I am incapable of driving a stick shift.
  • I was compared to a very specific kind of hooker.
  • I waited at home for three hours for the second weekend in a row for a cable repairman to come and fix my Internet, which has been inexplicably inaccessible since April. He didn't show - for the second time in a row.
  • A service repairman told me my problem was a total enigma and I should come back if it gets worse (read: able to be diagnosed).
  • The "goat cheese round" I bought last week is actually my least favorite type of brie ($10 later.)
  • I missed the first 10 minutes of a movie even though I was 10 minutes early (please consider there are also 10 minutes of previews) because a friend got lost walking the three blocks from the metro to the theater. (Arguably, it's easy to get turned around.)
  • I spent hours preparing a presentation that, because the person I was presenting it to interrupted and then ran over time, I never got to present.
In other news, my sister bought me a sprinkler, Julie/Julia was good as both a book and a movie, I got to hang out with a few friends, I finally got film from 2005 developed, I made up three new recipes, my half-bottle of Mouton Cadet was lovely, and I don't have to sell any part of my body to make a perfectly fine living. I mean, I guess I've sold my enthusiasm, industriousness, creativity, and intelligence; but they've got to pay me for something, right?

The only way to not go crazy is just to laugh about it all. A lot.

Because really, when the world starts pelting you with any- (and seemingly every-) thing, you've just got to let it go or you'll do something truly horrifying and actually wind-up as a miniseries on Lifetime, or worse, a made-for-TV movie that will only get played after 2 a.m. On a clear weathered Tuesday. During a really cool meteor shower that keeps everyone out on their rooftops until 4 a.m., when you finally go off the air.

Love always, ~Heather