Friday, June 30, 2006
Other good stories from this week include driving up to Raleigh to see some old family friends. They first messed up the time. Then they didn't know where the restaurant they wanted to go to was. Then we got lost on bad directions from a concessionist at the IMAX theater. Finally we got to where we were going and had chinese food that made me sick from the first bite (I was so hungry, it being about two hours after we were supposed to have eaten, that I figured it was hunger pain and accidently kept eating).
The reason why this is a good story is because we drove like 45 minutes out of our way to get there and then didn't even spend more than an hour together. But the people we were hanging out with were teachers from my elementary school, my PE coach in particular, and his son - my brother's best friend since preschool. Regardless of the adventure it took to get there, catching up with old friends is always a pleasure. Always.
Last night I came upstairs at about 12:30am planning on heading to bed. I stopped in the Frog to shut off the computer and my brother sent me a message. He wanted me to read his new blog. I checked it out (and so can you, link on the side) and then spent an hour helping him revise his template and organize the page so it would be more like him. I think we were pretty successful.
Also yesterday, I was working and the family I work for is planning on moving. They are getting rid of a bunch of old stuff - which is perfect as I am looking to get some things for my future home. In addition to 4 kitchen chairs with slipcovers I got 6 cans of specialty high gloss paints (my boss runs her own personalized frame painting business) and a whole stack of books. I read one of them today, Go Ask Alice. If you don't like reading, it was also turned into a film in the 70's, but I haven't seen it yet. If it is anything like the book, it is an excellent way to understand the thoughts of a teenage drug user. It really helps you look at these kids again and realize the pain they are in. If you've seen the movie, thumbs ratings would be appreciated.
Then today I watched Dead Poet's Society. I love that movie. It always makes me think I should enjoy reading poetry. Of course I still don't, but I like writing it. Poetry is one of those things you really have to be in the mood for. Dylan Thomas, Whitman, Dickinson, Tennyson, Thoreau - they are all so brilliant. But I just can't seem to appreciate them unless I am terribly moody myself and find just the perfect poem for my current emotions.
It also makes me think about stepping out and trying new things, being brave, evaluating my life for possibilites, paths unseen. I get so motivated. I even cleaned part of my room! (That was combination "possibly finding a place" enthusiasm and inspiration.) I love movies like that. I think I like them more because I spend a good part of the film trying to figure out where all the references come from. So fun.
I also got to spend an hour talking to my sister today. It is always fun to be able to chat with someone who has known you your whole life and still admits to knowing you. It was funny but I forgot to tell her about the choir practice I went to last night. If you have ever heard me play the piano, I think you'll understand why it was hysterical that I was the musician of the evening. Not enough people were even there to make it worth the rehearsal, but as Patti put it, God loves a joyful noise.
Alright, I'll be concise today and let you go. Hope you are having a story-filled weekend! Love, ~Heather
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I have been using the AU search engine for awhile now about once a week checking back for updates. Hence today's find. Very excited (in a potential, not overly enthused way). So excited in fact I have done not too many other things today. Finished reading the Hahn book, still good. It helps that one of the characters has my name I think. However, I realized only on the reread where something I once did got its inspiration - I had already read it in that book.
I am going to switch my laundry and take a nap (got about 5 hours last night, so pretty tired). I'll probably make my phone calls before then though - just so I have them finished by five. My way of avoiding trouble is making sure I have ten other places that I could potentially get excited about.
Tonight we are having dinner with old friends from the first time I lived in Florida who are in the area on a mission trip. I am excited to see them again (it's been 3 years or more!). Hope everyone is having as upbeat of a day as I am. The rain has stopped and God is blessing just about everything! Hope those of you in the NE are drying out a little bit too. Hugs, ~Heather
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
(I said the prayer was unintentional because I have been praying alot about finding a place but only recently decided to be more open in my prayer - including now letting the Lord help me find a solution to the housing situation, of course because He knew best, I was going to stop being specific about how. Who said "ask and ye shall receive" isn't true?)
My parents have been doing alot to help - like taking me up to the city, putting up with my bad moods, calling friends - everything. Dana and her family have been searching as much as possible, and I got a real estate agent on the case this morning too. It took me so long to realize that there were lots of people out there helping - even if they were just rooting for me to succeed.
So thanks for that. To all of the people who have been there and kindly aided me (silently or otherwise) I really, really appreciate it. Even if I still haven't found a place. Tonight was the first time I sat down to relax and didn't feel like the two and a half hours I had worked before that weren't enough. I got to enjoy my "me" time. There's nothing like that.
I'm off to my room to re-read a children's book by Mary Downing Hahn, Wait 'Til Helen Comes. It scared the bejeebers out of me as a kid, but remained one of my favorite books. I hope this adult reading of the text won't skew my favor of it. I'll probably be able to let you know tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, because I am not working I'll finally have time to do my laundry, scrub the tile in the laundry room, call a bunch of the listings I found in the past two days, maybe swim a little, and hopefully start making some appointments for my second trip to DC. I'm feeling better about it already. Love always, ~Heather
P.S. "Things do not happen. Things are made to happen." ~John F. Kennedy Coincidence that is the quote of the day? I think not! "Tata" ~H (anyone catch the reference?)
P.P.S. I felt really weird signing off like that, because brains are something I prefer to think with ... too much horror for one night (if you don't know the reference you won't understand this post script). Anyway. Love you all. ~Heather
Monday, June 26, 2006
Even when I fall asleep my dreams are stressful. Not like nightmares but, for example, one dream was that I worked long over on a project, missed a group dinner and then when I finally tried to leave they had just left and locked me in the building and I couldn't get out (although I did have my cell with me in the dream). I sleep like a rock but I am working so hard in my dreams, I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. Not good.
Tonight was particularly bad. I got home from work (working extra hours this week), sat on the couch, then got up to go take care of some dogs I'm watching up the street, came back and could eat nothing. I went to my room and had so little energy I could barely even cry (not as good a deal as you anti-criers would think). My salvation came in the form of a little red book on the floor next to my dresser; my Taize song book.
If you know nothing about Taize, read some of my posts about it in the April archives. But for those of you who do, I just laid on my floor and put the book in front of me and sang the verses of the songs I knew over and over and over again until I felt better. It was amazing how great it was. One of my favorite tunes is Jesus le Christ - which is about not letting your doubts get to you and having hope. It was so perfectly relevant tonight. It saved me from a night of painful stress. God Bless those brothers and my friends who encouraged me to go there!
But now that I am recuperated I am going searching anew. I might even go downstairs and eat in a little while. Who knows. Regardless, I just wanted to send out my love to the others who pray Taize - you are in my heart tonight, filling it so it cannot be constricted. Love always, ~Heather
Sunday, June 25, 2006
I started praying alot harder about it yesterday when everything seemed to be going pretty badly. Then today's homily was about not being afraid. And the priest talked about Job. Let's just say that in comparison, I have nothing to worry about. It doesn't make my problems less important to me, it just puts them in perspective - it could be much worse.
So I am off to scour the internet again. There are all sorts of great places out there hiding. I just know there are. Here's hoping I can break the code and find the secret places. My spirit is awash with energy ... I am off.
Tell you more about the trip later. Love always, ~Heather
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Isn't that fantastic? I have gone to work, eaten, slept, knitted, and watched television in the past 24 hours. However the most important thing I have done is make appointments. Lots and lots of appointments! We are seeing (Dad and I) two townhouses, one house, two condos, and an apartment during our visit up this weekend. Not to mention seeing AU for the first time in my life. I am so excited. I am going to make sure I have batteries in my camera and on my computer, borrow a cable and off I go!
Plus, the phone call from yesterday wasn't as dead awful as I was afraid it would be, my FAFSA is finished, my room is basically clean, Marco bought tickets to come and visit (the States, not just me), and the banana-strawberry-walnut bread I made was a big hit! As they so cutely said it in Practical Magic "Life is perfect." But I am replacing perfect with good. But I didn't want to lose the reference to the movie. What a good one.
Okay, tomorrow I have to clean my car, pack, and finish making appointments and email all the people who need to be emailed to make sure that everything is ready for the things that are going to be happening. (I did all of that in abstraction just to be tricky! Can you tell I am in a good mood?)
If you aren't careful I'll tell you a joke. Worse yet, I'll tell you my favorite joke and no one but me will laugh. (And it isn't the one you are thinking Marco!) I am relieved and happy, and ready for the stress of this weekend. I am loving life. I'll talk to you all soon and hopefully have some great pictures to show you too! Love always, ~Heather
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Oh, and the cold calling is fun too. Calling places and seeing if they'll have space available in August. Yeah, no. Or they do but their rate is about $200 more than the advertised price online. Or there isn't any parking. A million things going wrong more or less at the same time. Fan-tabulous.
On the roommate front, we should be fine if I still have three people (three person apartments are significantly cheaper per person per month than two bedrooms). If not, I have to make one of the scariest phone calls of my life today to ask someone (who probably doesn't like me all that much, but is reliable and at least someone I KNOW) if they are interested in joining our pow-wow of fun. Not really looking forward to that.
I should state here for the people who are wondering why I would bother to call someone to live with them if I think they don't like me that finding a roommate who you know and trust is extremely important - particularly if you don't feel like paying twice your regular rent to account on behalf of someone less reliable. Hopefully things will start looking up soon. There have to be more vacancies than I am actually seeing online.
In happy news, I am finally going to get to see the school I'll be going to. I am going to try to take a tour if possible. I doubt any one from my department will be there over the weekend - but I am going to try to talk to someone from the PC school too. I am really excited about that.
So to sum up .... eat your eggs, they're good for you. And please God don't let my brain turn from fried to scrambled before, after, or during this trip. Thanks. I'll butter you... up! Er, I mean some toast. Love always, ~Heather
P.S. You can't really butter up God, can you? ~HB
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Today I "practically" found myself a place to live, finished financial paperwork (for the moment), cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed, researched interships and jobs, and folded my laundry. Pretty productive day.
Hier soir je suis allee au reunion pour une groupe des gens qui s'appellent Mensa. Mais ils n'etaient pas la. Alors je m'arretter au librarie pour regarder (et acheter) les livres. Pas mal. J'ai commence de memoriser tous les presidents de mon pays et les choses important de leur "presidency." J'adore l'idee que un jour, je peut devenir le president de mon pays - l'annee 2020. Peut-etre. C'est difficile parce que les politicians, pour la plupart, disent pas la verite. Je me demande si c'est possible de ment pas et toujours arriver a la poste le plus importante de mon pays (et peut-etre le monde). Un question difficile. Mais j'ai toujours 13 ans - beaucoup de temps pour penser.
Autrement, il n'y a pas les grands choses de raconter. Je garde les enfants. Je cherche un apartement. Je tricote une echarpe et travailler sur mon patchwork. Je suis ennuyeuse. Le week-end prochaine je vais aller au DC pour regarder les endroits possible pour l'annee prochaine (aout) - pas grands choses non plus. Toujours, je suis presque contente que je suis avec mes parents et aussi que je suis aux Etats-Unis. J'ai beaucoup de chance. Maintenant je vais finir quelques petits choses dans ma chambre et m'habiller pour la messe ce soir (il y a les messes dimanche matin, mais notre chorale chant le samedi soir).
Je vous adore! Bisous! ~Heather
Thursday, June 15, 2006
As you know, I am babysitting myself into some money this summer. The two kids I watch three days a week are really big sweethearts, but could use a little help with their song knowledability repetoires. So, being me, I decided I would try to help solve the problem. We sing anything I can think of: The Farmer in the Dell, Have you ever been down the water spout (high school chorus, ahh memories), Baby Shark (HOBY), Old MacDonald, the ABC song with me doing the sign language.... lots of stuff.
Because one of the boys was bedridden the other day, I really had to pull out all of the stops in terms of variety of songs. This led me to my second grade favorite, The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed the Fly. Now these boys, 4 and 3, are pretty good at learning the lyrics if you repeat them often enough, but they usually hang onto the words from the beginning and the end more than anything else. So we were in Sam's Club running errands with their mother and we were siniging to pass the time in the vegetable and frozen food sections. I am pretty sure there are eople blogging tonight about the morbid babysitter they saw today at the store.
Anyway, the story turns funny here as I am quietly singing how the dog chased the cat and she swallowed the cat for the bird, for the fish, for the spider, for the fly... and I don't know why she swallowed that fly... and in their loudest voices I was joined with "Perhaps she'll die!" Cheerfully done in preschool fashion and at intervals of the verses of the song, those were the only words the other customers could hear as we perused the celery and carrots.
I am not ashamed of my actions and the boys were oblivious, but it does make you a little self-concious to hear "perhaps she'll die!" repeatedly. Once again I was there, like that time in kindergarten I was picked last ... the cheese at the end of a whole farm full of people and animals. I was the big cheese (or ham) standing alone in the store with two adorable boys who thought the cart was their rocket ship and spinning in circles was the highlight of the day. It's possible I have never been happier to be the one standing alone. When the reward is smiles, can you ask for more? I'll be the cheese anyday. Love always, ~Heather
P.S. For all my french readers, tous les chansons sont pour les petits enfants. Ils sont adorable et bien sur drole. Pour le plupart ils sont populaires partout dans le pays. Quelque petit chose de culture. Je peut vous envoyer les paroles ou un CD si vous voulez! Vous me manque beaucoup, beaucoup!! Bisous, ~Heather
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
You scored as Cyclops. Cyclops is the team leader of the X-Men, and a skilled one at that. He loves Jean Grey very much. He's a strict and sometimes uptight leader, but he believes in his cause and he knows what he's fighting for... Peace between Mutants and Humans. Powers: Optic blasts
So I took this quiz today figuring it would be fun. (Thanks to a friend of a friend for the link) I think this is pretty accurate. It characterizes me (similar to yesterday's blog, I think so) in a very true fashion. If you first met me while I was working on something - on a mission let's say - I would take one look at you and probably blast you. However, if you got me any other time, I would be more than happy to take some time to snap on my sunglasses and have a conversation. (I am addicted to my sunglasses.)
Would you agree or disagree? Who would you be? Will you join my X-Men team??? :)
Have a great Wednesday (best day of the week)! Love always, ~Heather
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
**These are in no particular order and they occasionally characterize more than one person.**
Mr. Big. Intelligent, charming, and exquisitely good at disarming me. Perhaps too good.
What I learned: Open relationships give you alot of freedom - and sometimes too much space. Letting myself go sometimes is as important to my mental health as being a goodie-two-shoes.
Verbotten. Reserved, complex, understanding, great listener, patient, helpful, sporty, and obviously, taken.
What I learned: Restraint held for long periods of time is better left restrained. Unless you stand a chance and even then you should forget about it.
The Nerd. Super smart, understanding, patient, and considerate. Then we grew up.
What I learned: Boyfriend is not the same as only person you can talk to and must talk to about everything. Jealousy should be kept in check - if I can have male friends, he can have female friends.
SpongeBob. Grossly intellectual, highly religious. Bad conversationalist.
What I learned: Getting asked out after playing sports and being sweaty is one of the best compliments of all time. If you feel like you should turn around before you've even left the parking lot of your place, you probably should.
The Scaredy Cat. Personable, good-willed, dedicated, hardworking, creates strange internal spark that is unexplainable. Requires multiple forces to get him out of his shell.
What I learned: You cannot take away shyness by force of sheer volition. Oversharing can absolutely kill all romantic speculation. Pursuit is admirable and abominable simultaneously.
Will. Smart, funny, occassionally sporty (but not really athletic), great to be around, excellent listener, can drive you nuts with diatribes about the most inane things, and ready to do stuff with you most of the time. Too good to be true - therefore, gay.
What I learned: Being myself is essential. Don't get lost in the lives of others - especially if you know they are unattainable (that took a few falls to grasp). I am not perfect, but I am worthy.
The Dramatic. Smart, funny, great performer, and ultimately way too young.
What I learned: Younger is not a good idea. Laughter is important but only if you can also have intelligent conversations.
Coach Suave. Volleyball playing, well-toned, friendly, flirty court companion.
What I learned: Dating the coach makes for awkward practices thereafter. Physical attraction + language barriers + inadvertent sexual advance = recipe for disaster.
Rooster. Strong, compassionate, musical, friendly with my family, inability to decipher when a single conversation was not about him.
What I learned: If he is too cocky to recognize the existence of others that is probably the only part of himself he'll be thinking with when he's with you.
The Friend. Smart, dramatic, remembers everything, knows how to make you feel better, good conversationalist, dreamer, worrisome, contemplative, nostalgic. And not a single spark.
What I learned: Don't try to make things happen where things aren't going to happen. If you have to have a fallback for the age of 35, this is the perfect guy.
So there you have it. Upon re-reading the list I discovered that some people fell into multiple categories. It should also be mentioned that I have only ever had three boyfriends ... the rest were just passers - by (though obviously notable).
After the line is a different intro I wrote to this, but I decided it was too convoluted and you would probably lose interest before you got to the cool list I had made. So I put it last. Don't read it if you don't have a little time. Even then it might not be worth it.
I did something ridiculously juvenile this morning: I indulged in watching a rerun of the Dawson's Creek series finale. This, in addition to recent messages to Malise in Moldova and emails from other high school friends really got me thinking (in a Carrie Bradshaw fashion) about the beginings and endings of friendships and particularly relationships.
Friendships. This is a particularly difficult one to cover because it is vast and immeasurably difficult to put a point on. Suffice it to say that a best friend is a friend forever, sending nail polish decorated letters and writing in code makes memory boxes more fun, great friends come and go but all teach you something, and that new friends who get you are sometimes hard to come by. As you can see, that is alot. Normally I would expand on all that, but this blog isn't about that.
Relationships are a sticky mess of the best and worst moments. We all hope the good outweigh the bad but most believe that one moment of true happiness is worth all the tears and pain that might come after. I am a member of that camp. I am beginning to think however that that phrase should be restricted to people who are dying, moving, or going off on a perilous adventure. But, more importantly than my theoretical principles I decided to create the stereotypical characters (as to avoid real names for my poor former "callers"). I am wondering how many more of these fellows I have to go through to get to "the one." More importantly though I am trying to figure out what else I need to learn, because I don't think I ever thought I'd be happily with the right person by now - I probably won't be for another decade - but when I do get around to it, I want to make sure I am doing it right, being a good person. OKay, here goes.
That's it for now. Love always, ~Heather
Friday, June 09, 2006
US Federal Tax form 1040EZ
SC Tax Form 1040
SC Schedule NR (meaning Nonresident)
And close to $100 coming in the mail before the end of this year. Gotta love getting your own hard earned money back from the government.
Tomorrow's task: FAFSA. To declare myself in independent or remain dependent. That is the question. Secondary and, I think, perfunctory question: do I like staying on my father's health insurance? Being dependent certainly has its advantages.
And I have two paychecks to cash. And a monetary transfer to send my parents for every penny they put out towards my car while I was gone. Then I am set for the summer. **Large sigh of relief**
Special thanks to my best friend for calling me to wish me a happy birthday today. One month and two days late he can still make me feel special. Perhaps this is payback for the birthday card I have had for almost three years but haven't sent yet. I fear he might get it when he's thirty.
In other news, it is Donald Duck's birthday today, from way back in 1934. Congratulations to the old bird: 72 and still going strong. And speaking of animals I took Shadow to the vet today (hurray for hunky veterinary assistant with the adorable smile). Not as excited about the uber idiotic vet who stuck the dog ten times, and shaved part of his paw to draw blood and then had to call in the other vet who took it in one draw, on the first try. Kudos to the incompetent goober who stradled the dog during this process and then got upset when he growled. Yeah, because working in a vet's office you have no idea that dogs don't like to be dominated over - go you.
But all is well on the homefront. Swimming laps, uploading pictures to facebook, and watching West Wing dominated my day. The shrimp scampi for dinner wasn't half bad either. Good thing, because one has to consistently make up for my tragic inability to find an affordable place to live within a reasonable geography of mine and Dana's schools. No fear though, all will fall into place eventually. It has to. It will. I have faith. Your prayers are still welcome however.
Hugs and kisses, ~ Heather
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
It is on the history bar today (slide down on the left hand side of the page) and I thought it was particularly interesting considering I started reading a book called, Mr. Lincoln's Wars last night. It is thirteen short stories that reflect the life and times of President Lincoln. I want to delve into all this history. I either need to start understanding history or politics if I am going to be the president of the US one day (the dream, the dream, and don't laugh, because I know you are). I am still with Kayla and Kim on the "you can't not lie and be the president," but maybe I'll try to change that.
I hope living in DC next year gives me a pretty good perspective on the political system and whether or not I will be able to tolerate the "spinning." I am going to school to learn how to do it, so I guess I better make sure I know that I can morally stand it. If you witness drops in my moral standards - please make a note to tell me. I would really appreciate it.
Speaking of DC and thinking of Columbia, I plan on having a party at my place (still non-existent) for the first televised game of the season (does anyone know which one that will be yet?). Anyone in the Washington, DC area is more than welcome. Spread the news. Gamecocks unite to support their team. It'll be good to watch with garnet and black friends instead of alone with my FSU alum roommate (same colors, but the ACC is just not as cool) and whoever else is there.
So by now you are wondering about the title. Honestly, it was something my dad and I were talking about and I have completely forgotten the context of the original conversation. Suffice it to say that I was laughing really hard and I promised it would make an appearance in my blog. and so it has. It is pretty funny to try and figure out what we were talking about when that came up. I am really going to have to ask him.
In other news I am working up a storm with a variety of neighborhood odd jobs and making relatively decent money at it. I am hoping to save enough to pay for all my books and my car payments throughout the first semester without having to touch my other money. I will still probably have to get a few more jobs before that happens.
And now I am off to fill out forms and read some more before I have to go to work again. I love all of this spending time with kids. It is the perfect birth control (besides my abstinence and lack of boyfriend) to know I don't want to have to spend my entire day saying "blow, okay again" as green grossness drips out of my child's face. Or to have my necklace ripped off because he was scared to swim. Or to make macaroni and cheese with no cheese for a very strange child who eats noodles with nothing on them. I could go on forever. Alice says when you meet the man who will be the father of your children you'll feel differently. I have to say I must not have met him yet. Or my feelings are in recess. Or something. Because I have to tell you that whiny, bratty, tantrums may be easier than say, astrophysics, but I dare you to do my job. I really do.
Love always, ~Heather
Woohoo! Jubilation partout sur le monde petite Sidonie est nee!!! J'etais vraiment contente hier quand je suis recu les photos de la maman et bebe. Felicitations a tout le monde sur cette occassion glorieuse!
Ce weekend etait bien passe avec le babysitting, le chien-sitting, et aussi les chants. Mes parents et moi, on est dans une petite chorale de l'eglise et dimanche apres-midi il etait un concert/spectacle. Rien extrordinaire. Franchement, c'etait un peu comme les chats qui mourir. Il me donne plasir de chanter et un mal a tete d'ecouter. C'est pas de tous comme les Champanules. Eh, mais peut-etre on peut ameliorer le son par le fin d'ete???
Les autres nouvelles ... j'ai lu deux livres les deux jours passe. Le deuxieme et le troisieme dans le series de "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Je les adore. Ils sonts vraiment pour les ados mes j'adore quand meme. Ils sont traduisent et je vous [recommend](??) tous les trois. Le deuxieme est mon prefere. L'histoire de Lena est un peu comme moi ... n'inquiete pas, pas dans tous les sens. C'est bizarre - chaque fois (c'est probablement parceque je suis une fille) je lis un livre avec une groupe des charactres, je essaye de choisir un ou deux avec lesquelles je suis presque le meme. Bien sur je suis un combination pour le plupart, mais c'est interesante que dans chaque livre de le series je creer un lien avec une personage differente.
Aussi, contre mes propres regles j'ai fait le shopping - pour les vetements et les bijoux. De temps en temps, je me deteste. Okay, c'etait seulement parce que me soeur a achete les belles choses pour moi en Colorado et apres elle a demande que j'achete "icing" ou "frosting" pour les accompagnes. Alors, les colliers. Plusiers. Les petits "tanks" et aussi une veste pour la pluie. Et un costume de bain. Ugh, mais mon consolation est que j'ai fini pour tout l'ete maintenant et j'ai pas besoin de retourner au "mall."
Autrement j'ai commence avec mon patchwork et une echarpe (tricoter). Bientot je vais creer un petit programme (sur DVD) de mes photos et les morceaux de film de mes mois en Europe. Je suis contente pour ca.
Je trouve que c'est difficile de parler de France ici. Je n'aime pas de tous. "Whereas" les gens a Charleville etait contente de m'ecoutent ou laissent-moi raconter pleines d'histoires de "chez moi," ma famille et la plupart de mes amis n'ecoutent pas. Ils ne demandent pas les questions. C'est comme je suis seule. Ma famille francaise me manque beaucoup. Mais plus de ca, Je manque que j'etais vraiment moi en France. J'avais pas peur d'etre moi. Au meme temps, mon sarcasm et mes reponses vite (qui sont absolument deux grands choses de mon personalite) n'etait pas existant en France (avec les barriers de langue et aussi j'avais peur a dire quelque chose comme "ta guelle" pour un deuxieme fois).
Je cherche les environs ou je peut etre moi. Toutes moi. Est-ce qu'elle existe? La place de mes reves ou je sera "normal" (ca, jamais), ou je suis moi, et il y a les gens qui me comprendre? Les gens qui comprendre que j'adore les disputes mais pas les problemes. Les gens qui sont competitif mais jouent pour plasir. Ou ils comprendrent mes blagues (ils sont horribles, je sais) et ils n'ont pas peur a cause de mon mur de repulsion (is that a word in french?).
Je souhaite que c'etait possible pour moi d'ecraser le mur. Le mur des briques qui est grand et fort et me garder de moi-meme et les autres qui j'ai peur voudraient me fait mal. Pas vraiment je suppose, mais si je suis proche de quelqu'un, il peut m'attaquer plus fort. En francais peut-etre ce "concept" est pas hyper clair. En anglais non plus je suppose.
Mais j'ai fini avec l'introspection a ce point. Aujourd'hui j'ai les choses a faire. Les impots a declarer, les papiers de banques a demander, un patchwork de coordiner. Les choses a faire. J'adore que je suis occupe. C'est mieux comme ca. Tous mes meilleurs voeux a tout le monde. Love always, ~Heather
P.S. Was that long enough Hugues? I tried my hardest, but I ran out of things to say! Miss you bunches and thanks for the postcard/letter! Love, hugs and kisses, ~Heather
Friday, June 02, 2006
This morning I made sure my money got here from France. Suckers (sorry, PG-13 there, but deservingly) waited an extra week to process my money transfer and the exchange rate dropped six cents on the dollar and I lost $60 in the wake. Not thrilled. However, the money is here, so I can finally pay my parents back.
I watch West Wing, hello, it is so good. Saw Access. It is an episode in Season 5 all about being a press secretary and highlighting the ups and downs of the job. I so want that job. To get there though I need an education, so....
I called American and I am officially registered for 12 hours of masters credit in Public Communication. I even got to choose my professors. This new exciting step makes deferring my USC loans and getting back on my father's (from my traveler's) health insurance. Tonight or tomorrow will finalize all these money and school things with my filing of state and national taxes (thank goodness for a two month grace period for people out of the country) and my FAFSA. Then all I have to do is find an outside loan corporation to cover the rent and everything else I'll need to live while in DC and find an apartment. Things are really looking up.
In other productive news I cleaned up my mother's computer and added a few rungs to my scarf. I am going to take care of mine and the neighbor's dog, shower up, and then head out to get stuff to start my new quilt. Summers have now become my time to do personal crafty projects and knitting, quilting, and probably shelf making are definitely on the list of things to do.
I promised I wouldn't write alot and for those of you unsure, this really isn't. I'll review the book, the movie, and update you on plans as soon as I have them. Best of luck to Helene who is due any minute now (possibly right now!). Love and miss you all, ~Heather